Motherhood and Adoption

Nearly 4 years ago I was given a wonderful gift by God, my husband, a dear friend (Memaw), and a very confused young girl.  I was offered the blessing of being a mother to our 4th daughter.  Those early weeks when it was more talk than action, were hard.  I was so anxious to love and take care of this precious baby girl.  I knew the years ahead would be different for her than my other girls.  I knew that one day she may find me not to be enough of a mommy for her.  But I was willing to take that risk.  I, we all, needed her and she needed our family!

I knew one day she would begin to ask questions.  Why is my skin different from my sisters?  Why don't you have any pictures or video of me in your tummy, Mommy?  Why can't we watch my birthday video like we have of my sisters?  We decided to wait until these questions came from her naturally.  We waited and waited.

While we waited we have, at times, talked about her being adopted in her presence.  Alpheus has used the story for an illustration many times in sermons.  We have had people at church, at family gatherings, at homeschool gatherings, at Wal-mart, and so on ask in front of her if she was "ours."  I have always answered with joy about her being adopted.  However I did ask the girls not to discuss this topic with her, but to let her come to us.  I realized the other day that as she is nearly five and sharp as a tack, she may begin to take more notice to these moments when it is mentioned.  I didn't want her to "find out" she is adopted on the playground when she over hears her older sisters explaining why she doesn't look like them.  So I took the plunge and talked with her about it.

I would love to know what she was really thinking.  I asked her, "Lydia, when were you in Mommy's tummy."  "Before I was born?" she responded with a funny questioning look as if to say, didn't you know that Mommy.  Then I explained that she had never been in my tummy, but she had certainly been born in my heart, even before I knew she was going to be mine.  One of her first questions was what was her real birthday.  Isn't that funny?  I don't know if she thought we changed it or if she meant the day she was born in my heart.  She also wanted to know if that lady had any more children.  So we talked and I answered her questions as best I could.  She didn't ask much, but she listened to all I had to say very intently. 

Then I told her how I was adopted too.  I explained that God had adopted me as his daughter because He loved me and wanted me to come and live with Him in heaven one day.  And that even now He lives in me and helps me in all I do.  I told her that God gave her to me (us) and that I loved her so dearly.  I cried a lot and she kept patting me and telling me she loved me.  It makes me cry now to think of it.  :) 

I know that there will be more questions in the future.  I am counting on God to lead me as we go, as I know He has led us so far.  I look forward to celebrating Lydia's 5th birthday soon, but I also look forward to finally celebrating her adoption day on November 5th of this year!

Lydia dancing for us! :)

With All My Heart~

Milestones

When you have children you often measure time by months, years and milestones.  As the baby of the family, Lydia is always striving to reach those goals as soon as possible.  She loves to do whatever her big sisters do, and she has the added advantage (or disadvantage) of a lack of fear.  Most of the time it is wonderful that she is so eager to try new and difficult things.  One goal she has had her sights on is to learn to swim well enough to ride the slide at our local pool.

Let me just say that I feel a bit scared to ride this slide.   It must look gigantic to her!  But is she scared away from her goal? No.  She sees her sisters do it and we have told her she can too, as soon as she swims well enough to pop back up and paddle over to our waiting arms.  She has been practicing with Memaw and has met the required distance.  So now we were just waiting for a day with Daddy!

Here is Lydia another day practicing her jumping

You know milestones must be reached with family around to help celebrate!  So today, January 5, two months before her 5th birthday, she accomplished her goal.  As we all watched, she placed her trust in our faith in her and Daddy's waiting arms!  When she popped up, we all cheered!  Her first ride was a bit scary.  I forgot to remind her to stay in a sitting position.  She got turned over on her belly coming feet first down.  She was brave though, and gave it another shot.  She went a total of 6 times.  She wanted to go more, and she will on future PE visits! :)

At bedtime, when she was giving Daddy a good night kiss, they were playing a little guessing game they sometimes play.  Daddy pretends not to recognize her and guesses who she is with funny little clues.  Lydia, anticipating where the conversation was going, decided to give Daddy some clues.  He said, "Now, who is this again?" And Lydia replied, "I am 4.  I am Lydia.  I went down the slide!"


Four hours later and she is recognizing that this event helps to identify who she is!  This was a big deal for her.  She was proud.  So were we, and very amused!  :)

So yes, I am the only member of the family who hasn't ridden the slide!  Oh wait, neither has Memaw!  Stay posted.  Maybe we will be as brave as Lydia one day.

With All My Heart~

Handling Disappointments

Last night at bedtime, Lydia and I were reading in her Bible story book about Joseph and the jealousy of his brothers.  Then we talked about how we can sometimes feel jealous when we see others being blessed with gifts and cards.   (It is birthday season for her two oldest sisters.) 


Then Lydia said, "Mom, do you know what really disappoints me?"


 After I stopped giggling over her grown up speech I asked, "What?" 


"At the dentist office yesterday, I was very good and all I got was a toothbrush and toothpaste." LOL  Our dentist office used to give out toys and she would be with us and see the girls get them.  Oh the disappointments that a nearly-5 year old ponders! :) 


So we talked about the things she could be thankful for at the dentist office.  Being with Memaw (who took her so I could do school with the big girls.) and going shopping with her after.  Memaw buying her popcorn chicken for a treat.  Best of all, no cavities!


After all this counting her blessings she was feeling much less disappointed!

With All My Heart~

Present Participles

This precious girl has been the cause of a bit of anxiety. In this case it has been for her lack of language. She has been a bit on the slow side for pronouncing words. For the last year or so she has mostly spoken in one syllable words and usually she left off the initial consonant sound. For example: cup was spoken as "up"; Hannah was Ana and Sarah was Ara.

At her doctor's visit in September I was reassured of my own opinion that she was not really impeded but just slow in actually speaking. It certainly wasn't her hearing, and it wasn't that she couldn't speak anything. Some words were clear; "No" was a disctinctly clear word as was Mama and Dada. Around July she did begin to string together two or three syllables to make a sentence, though they were still hard to understand. Ex: ink peas mama aka Drink please Mommy. This was also usually accompanied by the sign for eating, just in case fuzzy brained mommy wasn't correct in interpretation.

When our Florida grandparents came up recently, we could see a big improvement in just the week they were here. Lydia was definitely saying more of the initial consonants and more multi-syllable words were understood.

Today she did a new skill! She spoke in the present participle form.

Mommy: "Lydia, are you finished?

Lydia: "No, I not done. I am poopooing."

Okay, so it seems a disgusting example, but it is the first that I heard from her that I recall. Also, other writers, including reporters at Reuter's have used this term with a different conotation. (I know because I googled it to check the spelling! LOL)

Seriously, I am so thankful and excited that she is blossoming in her language skills. We pray for many things for our children and sometimes later is seems silly, but I truly am thankful for each answered prayer, no matter how small.

In Him, Eva

Picture taken by Mary when we were at dinner in Macado's.